Choosing a bridesmaid dress: cue the bridal guilt!

One of the very first questions John and I answered, even before we discussed the "where's" and "when's," was the "who's": who would be in our bridal party? We decided to have five attendants each. I was represented by my best friend, Paige, as Matron of Honor, and four bridesmaids: my friends, Kristen and Libby; and John's sisters, Suzanne and Katherine. On John's side we had his best friend, Scott, as Best Man and four groomsmen: his friends, Gerard and Gerry; his cousin, Andy; and my brother, Bobby.

As soon as I chose my wedding gown, the time came to choose coordinating bridesmaid dresses. Little did I know, this was to become one of the biggest headaches in all of the wedding planning.

After I fell out of love with the wedding gown with the pink sash, I pretty much fell out of love with pink as a wedding color, period. When we first decided to have a spring wedding I imagined a color scheme of ivory, dove grey, and shades of pink, and a cherry blossom motif woven through all of the details of the day. It would have been pretty, but in retrospect, it also wouldn't have been very "me." I'm not a girly-girl by any stretch of the imagination, and I couldn't figure out why I even considered pink at all. Perhaps I was stuck in cliche-wedding mode where I felt that I needed to be surrounded by soft pastels. And besides, cherry blossoms bloom in April, not in May, so the whole concept was flawed from the beginning!

I bounced around a few more ideas for color schemes, but after I saw a video on The Knot regarding Spring Wedding Ideas, I found my inspiration. In the video they featured a gorgeous honeydew green bridesmaid dress by Jim Hjelm. The color was very pretty and the dress featured a ruffle cascading down the left side, which I thought echoed the fluffy layers of my wedding gown. They paired the honeydew dress with some gorgeous lilac and lavender bouquets, and I was hooked. This was our new color scheme! It screamed "spring" but was still a little different and unexpected.I immediately logged onto Jim Hjelm's website to look up the item number of the dress (#5624) and local retailers. I called all of the retailers in my area but their prices were not what I was hoping to hear: they ranged from the mid to high $200's. Bridal guilt immediately set in.

I then tried to find cheaper alternatives, such as ordering them from an online bridesmaid dress shop. The pricing was definitely better, but the disadvantage would have been inconsistent dye lots and not having one person measure all five girls, and I didn't want to risk having such an important part of the wedding get all botched up to save a few bucks.

But I hadn't even seen this dress in person yet. Maybe if I saw it in person, I wouldn't like it, and then I could stop stressing and just find a different dress altogether. I called Bridal Garden in Marlton and asked if they had the dress in stock, and they said they did. I went with my mom to see the dress and try it on myself. I loved it! The color was really unique and I thought that the rouching of the bodice would be flattering on all of my bridesmaids. I was hooked. But it was still so expensive. (Although, that being said, it was one of the more affordable bridesmaid dresses that Bridal Garden carried. Who in their right mind would expect their bridesmaid to pay $300-500 for an Amsale or Vera Wang dress, plus alterations?!)

I then called another shop, Country Way Bridal, that was located in Cherry Hill. It would be a bit of a hike for my bridesmaids, but maybe if the pricing was decent it would be worth it. They told me that they were having a sale on Jim Hjelm dresses, but that the sale would only be going on until the beginning of June. The bridesmaid dress I wanted would still be a little pricier than I hoped, but it was definitely the lowest price I was quoted from a brick-and-mortar store.

Still, bridal guilt was there. I thought that perhaps a better idea would be to go to David's Bridal and find a shade of green similar to Jim Hjelm's "honeydew," and just ask the girls to choose their own dress as long as they were all made of the same material and full-length. It would have been a good plan, but David's shade of "honeydew" was almost a fluorescent green. They didn't have anything that was even remotely close to the shade I fell in love with. Everything was either too bright, too "sage" green, or too "kelly" green. I left David's defeated.

I decided in the end just to go with the Jim Hjelm dress and to order the dresses during the sale. We ordered the dresses from Country Way Bridal in mid-May of 2008, and even though the sales associate told me that the dresses would most likely arrive that summer, I explained that I wouldn't actually need them until January 2009, the same month my gown was due to arrive. The associate said that would be no problem, and that they would order the dresses from Jim Hjelm right away but ask them to hold off on shipping until Country Way called them again to "release" the dresses. Sounded good to me at the time.

Many months later I would come to regret that decision, just like I regretted buying my own wedding gown for a while. It, of course, all worked out in the end, and the girls all looked gorgeous on the day, but it was pretty touch-and-go when January 2009 rolled around. But that's a story for another time!
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Dress rehearsal

The months of January, February and March of 2008 were spent hunting for my wedding gown. It was a rollercoaster of an ordeal and I began to wonder if I would ever get that elusive "I'm a bride!" or "This is the one!" teary-eyed moment in the bridal salon. I may not have gotten teary-eyed, but I did definitely find the perfect dress for me in the end (although during the alterations process I had major regrets, but that's another story). I tried on many, many, MANY gowns before I found the one I ended up buying, and it just goes to show that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince... even when it comes to wedding gowns!

I am now going to be EXTREMELY brave and post unflattering pictures of myself in most of my reject gowns. Unfortunately, I do not have pictures of ALL of the gowns I tried on because some salons don't allow pictures to be taken until you actually purchase the gown. But anyway, I hope you all appreciate this, it should be good for a few laughs ;-)

My first stop was David's Bridal and I was accompanied by my MOH, Paige, who chose a David's gown for her own wedding. I figured that David's would be a good place to start since they carried a lot of different styles in a range of sizes. Remember the white satin dress I fell in love with, with the pick-ups and the pink sash? That was the other reason we went there. I was sure that it would be the dress I would end up purchasing, but I still went around the shop and picked out a bunch of different ones just for shits 'n' giggles. I decided to leave the pick-up gown with the pink sash for last.

Pop quiz: What happens when you put a size-4 girl in a dress MUCH smaller than size-4?

Answer:
LOL! Don't ask me why we didn't try it on in my actual size (maybe it wasn't available, or maybe we were still trying to figure out what my "bridal size" was at this point), and I have NO idea what is going on with that bizarre caved-in portion on the front of the dress, but nevertheless, this was the first wedding gown I ever tried on. It was heavy as hell and I was stuffed into that thing like a sausage. I remember thinking, "If all wedding gowns are THIS heavy and uncomfortable, I don't think I want to wear one!"

Still, it did have a nice train and I thought it looked pretty from the back.
Nevertheless, the quest had to continue.

Paige pulled a different pick-up style dress (not the one I had my heart set on) for me to try on, so that was next on deck.
Hmm. A bit too "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast for me. And I don't even think I had the big crinoline under my skirt at this point. Plus I thought the bodice looked too much like lingerie (and it was a corset back, which didn't help).

The search continued. Perhaps I needed to find something a bit more form-fitting.
Um. Hmm. Maybe form-fitting without a bizarre flat panel covering the entire skirt?
This one looked pretty from the back but didn't really do anything for me in the front. Besides, I was hoping for a longer train than this.

Alright, enough pussy-footing around. It was time to get down to business. Bring on the white satin pick-up gown with the pink sash!
Well.... it was ok, I guess. I remember really liking it in the store, but when I got home and looked at it on camera I was a little underwhelmed. First of all, it had NO train. Not even a little sweep train; it literally had no train at all (if you look closely at my reflection in the top-left of the picture, you can sort of see what I mean). What sort of bride doesn't want to have a beautiful train floating behind her as she walks down the aisle? It looked like my instincts were off on this one, and this wouldn't end up being the dress I would wear on my wedding day after all.

Before we left, I noticed a beautiful ivory lace gown on display, and I asked if I could try it on quickly.
I really loved it. It felt antique-y and the pick-ups were soft and subtle, unlike the "Belle" dress before. The ivory color was more flattering against my fair skin, too. Prior to this dress, all of the other dresses I tried on were stark white. But I still felt like it was missing something. We decided to try it on with the shell pink sash from the other dress....
Wow, I loved it. I left the store pretty much convinced that I found my wedding dress. I excitedly brought my camera to my parents' house to show my mom, but she wasn't exactly head-over-heels for this dress. She said that she'd come back to David's Bridal with me a few days later to see the dress in person.

While I was there, I took the opportunity to try on a few more dresses, especially ones that were much different from the other styles I already tried on.
I affectionately referred to this one as "the Tasmanian devil dress" cos it looked like a cyclone, lol. The bottom of it was bizarre too, because the skirt was filled with stuffing like a bubble skirt. Next!
Oh man, Mom loved this one, I guess because it was a more traditional silhouette than some of the others I tried on. But it was HEAVY and pretty boring to boot. It did nothing for me, and that seam going across my waist just cut me in half instead of elongating me. Nah, I hated it.

There were others I tried on during this trip, including the white satin pick-up gown (which I definitely ruled out this time) and my beloved ivory lace gown. Mom admitted that the ivory lace gown was very pretty, but she said that she would prefer me to shop around some more before making any decisions. I felt under a little bit of pressure to buy the lace gown right away because the associate told me it would be on sale until the end of the week (this was before I realized David's Bridal has sales, like, every two months), but I agreed that maybe it was too soon to decide on a gown. After all, I still had 17 months to go until the wedding!

Our next stop was a few weeks later, at Hearts For You in Englishtown. Hearts For You carried a lot of Maggie Sottero gowns, which I had researched online and really liked. Let the games begin!
A lot of the Maggie gowns featured unique details that I really liked, such as the lace peekaboo layer at the bottom of the dress. On my left side was a single pick-up that revealed a triangular panel of lace. I thought it was pretty but overall the silhouette didn't do anything for me. Next!
Meh. And excuse the "veil hair" I've got going on here, ha ha. Next!
I really liked this one, "Sierra," in person. The waist was beaded in an intricate pattern and it had that "peekaboo lace" that I liked about the other dress. But ultimately I felt I looked very "hippy" in dresses like this, and the beaded portion ending right on my hips exaggerated them even more, I think. Maybe it was time to look at some "poofy" dresses again.
OMG, my mom CRIED when she saw me in this one, "Capri." And to date, it is the only wedding dress I've worn that has made her cry, including the one I wore on my actual wedding day, ha ha! I don't know why she liked it so much. I felt like Belle again, and it was HUMONGOUS. Like, I couldn't see how my dad would be able to walk me down the aisle without tripping all over it. It was a pretty dress, don't get me wrong. The color was "diamond white" (a soft ivory) and the beads were pearlized shades of pink. But I didn't think it was practical at all. Back to the form-fitting gowns!
I didn't like this one, "Sandrina," so much in person, but when I looked back at the photos we took, I thought it was very pretty. A little bit boring though, as I felt it didn't have any sort of "wow" factor.

Sadly, we left Hearts For You empty-handed (although I did go back a second time several weeks later to try on three of the gowns again). The staff there were very sweet, so I was sad that I didn't end up purchasing a gown from them.

My next stop was at The Bridal Suite in Hamilton with Paige and my mom. My sister-in-law-to-be purchased her wedding gown from The Bridal Suite but warned me that their customer service was a little, shall we say, lacking? I have to say, after going there myself, that I agreed. It was just a bizarre shopping experience. First of all, there were no changing rooms, just one big "bedroom" sort of thing where I had to change in front of Paige and Mom. It wasn't a big deal, but I felt that having them in the room with me as I got dressed really killed any sort of "ta-da!" moment that I might have had.

Oh well. On to the dresses:
This is another Maggie Sottero dress, "Natalina," that I initially really liked. It had subtle pickups and some lace that I thought was pretty. But when I tried it on again at another bridal salon (see below) I decided I hated it, ha ha.
This was a gown by Lazaro that, I think, I tried on because it had pink beaded details on it. Again, I felt I looked "hippy" in it. But holy cow my ass looked amazing:
KAPOW! Ha ha. I decided not to give my grandmother a heart attack (and not to make John faint from overwhelming happiness), and so I moved on.
Remember the "Capri" pick-up gown that made Mom cry? This is the same gown, just a different version of it, called "Capri Marie," with a different neckline. I still felt "meh" about it, and Mom said that she liked the sweetheart neckline better.

I think I tried the Maggie dress on again before we left. But overall we weren't psyched with The Bridal Suite, and we decided to move on.

A few weeks later we went to Nicole's Boutique in Brick. They had a small collection of wedding gowns and they seemed to primarily deal with proms and special occasion dresses, but nevertheless I found a few that I wanted to try on.
I saw this style of dress in a bunch of shops and in a lot of magazine ads, with a criss-cross of fabric across the bodice. I suspected that I hated it but decided to try it on anyway. And I decided I definitely hated it.

This is that same Maggie "Natalina" dress I tried on at the Bridal Suite. I decided in the end that I didn't like it because it had a bizarre panel of lace on the back of the skirt that just sort of ended (you can see what I mean if you click on the link and check out the back view of the dress). It looked like it was there as an afterthought and the designer didn't know how to transition the lace back into the main material of the dress. I decided I had it with Maggie Sottero dresses. Although overall I think they're quite pretty, they always seemed to have something "off" with them that bothered me. I never tried on another one, and I never looked back.

I looked in the bridal section at Nicole's again and my eye kept going to this very beautiful fit-and-flare gown that was on a mannequin. I asked if it would be too much trouble to try it on, and they gladly took it off the mannequin for me. And woo hoo, it just happened to be in my size! (This is truly a rare thing outside of David's Bridal. Most gown samples are a size-12 so I always needed them clamped in the back. This gown was an exception.)
NOW we were talking! I friggin loved it. It fit like a glove and I thought it was so gorgeous.
And the train!! *swoon* So beautiful. This gown is "Brigit" from Enzoani's 2007 collection, and I just loved it to pieces. But I still wasn't ready to commit to a gown. Although beautiful, the dress was very hard to sit in since it was so fitted through the hips. However, it did open my eyes to Enzoani, a designer I had never heard of before.

When I got home I immediately went on Enzoani's website and drooled over a lot of the dresses. I wrote down the names of a good half-dozen of them, and then clicked on the link to find an Enzoani retailer near me. One of the shops was Enzo Bridal in Englishtown, and I made an appointment to go with Mom.

Now, I don't have pictures of every dress I tried on at Enzo due to their lame "no pictures until you purchase" policy. I gave the sales associate the list of Enzoani dresses I wanted to try on, which included Brigit again. While they didn't have most of the ones I wanted to try on in stock, they did have one from my list that I was very excited about: Arabella, from the 2006 collection.

Arabella was very... different. The skirt and train featured scallop-shaped layers of tulle and it gave the dress a very "fluffy" appearance. When I first looked at myself in the gown I wrinkled my nose and was like "I dunno..." But the more I looked at it in the mirror, particularly at the dramatic cathedral-length train, the more I liked it. I even said to my mom "Call me crazy, but I think I really like this one." She said she really liked it too. I tried on a few more dresses afterwards, including a Justin Alexander that was very pretty, but before we left I tried Arabella on again.

And I loved it.

I made another appointment at Enzo Bridal for the following week so that I could bring Paige for a second opinion. Her opinion wasn't what I was hoping for; she said that it was pretty but that she liked Brigit more. But in the end, I went with my gut, and that day we put a deposit down for Arabella.

Here she is:

Told you the train was dramatic ;-) By the way, in this shot I am holding samples of invitation paper to see whether white or ecru paper would match Arabella (technically an "ivory" gown, although a soft ivory) more closely. Yeah, I'm a bit OCD when it comes to details, so sue me ;-)

And speaking of details, here is the beautiful beading on my bodice.
It was March when we finally put down the deposit, but I told them that my wedding was 14 months away so I wouldn't really need the dress until January 2009. In December 2008 I got the call that the dress had arrived, and I was reunited with my beautiful Arabella.

Now, perhaps you are asking yourself "Lisa, your experience at Enzo Bridal seemed great, you love your dress and you seem very happy with your purchase. Why do you warn us not to give them business on the right-side of your blog?" That is a story for a later time, but let's just say that some bridal shops are all sweetness and light when they're trying to get you to give them your money, and then they treat you like shit after they finally get it from you. And then they try to get MORE money out of you.

But I think it all turned out great in the end....
...don't you agree? ;-)
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