To video, or not to video?

OK, so at this point, we've been engaged for only 4-5 months and we already have our ceremony and reception locations, our officiant, my gown, our photographer, our DJ, and our string quartet. So far, so good!

The next vendor on our list was "videographer?". Yep, with a question mark. John and I were both on the fence about whether we wanted our wedding recorded or not. John was pretty much against it, and at first I was too, only because I get very self-conscious when I know I'm being videotaped, and I always feel embarrassed watching the video back.

But, then I started reading some posts from former brides online, and a lot of them said that the single biggest regret of their wedding day was that they tried to pinch pennies by cutting out the videography. With the wedding day going by so quickly, the brides lamented that they would never be able to remember a lot of the details about their ceremonies and receptions. I didn't want that to happen to me. And I don't know if our future children would really care or not, but it could be cool to be able to show them our wedding video if they wanted to see it.

So I thought that maybe just videotaping the ceremony would be the way to go, and John agreed that it was a good idea. (In hindsight I think we just wanted to minimize the potentially embarrassing things that could have been caught at the reception, since neither of us like to dance.)

When I told my plan to my friend and bridesmaid, Kristen, she brought up some good points. She said "Wouldn't you want your first dance videotaped? Or your dance with your dad?" Dammit, I hadn't thought about the "reception events" that we might want to re-live someday. Sigh.

So we bit the bullet and decided to videotape the whole shebang. I figured, in the worst-case scenario, the video will sit on our shelf collecting dust for the next 50 years. But if we never recorded it to begin with, the worst-case scenario in that situation would be 50 years of regret, and that sucks.

I decided to check out the list of recommended vendors on Jeff Tisman's website for some leads. Two of his recommendations, Graphic Planet Cinematography and Reisbord Video, had really nice websites and I requested demo DVDs from each.

Both companies' demo discs were really fabulous and I'm sure that I would have been happy with either one, but in the end I chose Reisbord Video because their packages were better for us and because I actually got choked up watching their demo disc! I thought "Oh man, if I'm getting this emotional watching the wedding of complete strangers, I will be a mess at my own wedding!" I also felt that Reisbord Video's demo was less "gimmicky." I don't need a bunch of fancy transitions or special effects in my wedding video, I just need it shot beautifully and edited well.

At our wedding, we found Mitch Reisbord to be the perfect videographer. He was everywhere but not at all intrusive, and my dad even commented that during our dance together he noticed the spotlight on the top of Mitch's camera but didn't really connect that he was actually being videotaped. Mitch even came up to me and asked "Would you like me to go around to the tables to record messages from your guests?" and I said "Noooooo thanks." Ha ha. As a guest I always feel put-on-the-spot when a videographer asks me to say something to the camera, but I was elated that Mitch thought to ask my permission about it.

Now that our wedding and honeymoon are over, Mitch asked us to mail him photos of ourselves growing up, photos of us together, and also photos from our honeymoon, so that he can add slideshows to the beginning and end of our wedding video. We also need to send him some songs that we want to use as the soundtrack for the short "wedding recap" highlight reel he will be making. We're hoping to have all of that soon, and we can't wait to see the final result!

I do have one tiny regret regarding the videography, in that we opted to not have Mitch document our portrait sessions with Jeff before the ceremony. My reasoning for opting out of this was not only to save money, but also because I was afraid that the video camera would make me self-conscious and that would result in lousy wedding photos. But a lot of fun things happened during the shoots, including the Rutgers soccer team cheering and clapping for John and me as we walked by in our wedding attire, and a random hippy on an acid trip crashing our groomsmen group shot. Unfortunately we will never be able to relive those moments. Oh well.

It isn't realistic to get everything you think you might want for the wedding just out of fear that you will regret not having it someday (it is, after all, this fear that the wedding industry thrives on). The most you can do is just to surround yourself with professionals who will make the things you do opt for the very best they can be, and that's exactly what we did.